Charlie’s Angels meets South Park

Posted on July 1, 2003 by Ealasaid

Okay, so I saw the new “Charlie’s Angels” over the weekend, and this thought occured to me while discussing it with friends. The following theory includes spoilers, so if you care about that, don’t read the rest, okay? They’re spoilers about the Creepy Thin Guy (Crispin Glover) from the first film. Decide now if you care…

Look, it’s spoiler space!

ain't he handsome?

Okay, so… the Creepy Thin Guy died in the last film, yes? Or so we thought… he’s back in this one, and we learn a lot more about him, yay! He even gets to kiss Drew Barrymore! Double Yay!

Then he gets his own swordcane rammed through his chest and falls off a building.

I, like Drew, was traumatized. Then I realized: he’s basically Kenny from South Park. Consider:

Kenny…
…makes noise but it can’t be understood as speech.
…is pretty damn clever.
…knows a lot about sex and has a dirty mind.
…comes from a dirt-poor family.
…is a good kid at heart.		 Creepy…
…makes noise, but doesn’t speak.
…is a hell of a fighter and very smart.
…has that kinky hair-fetish thing going on.
…was raised in an orphanage.
…is a good guy at heart.

How cool is that? I ask you.

So I am now expecting three things:

  1. Creepy Thin Guy to show up again in the next film.
  2. Creepy Thin Guy to get killed again in the next film.
  3. The following exchange of dialog:

    Drew: OH MY GOD!
    Lucy Liu: They killed Creepy!
    Cameron Diaz: YOU BASTARDS!

    I mean, dood, they reference everything else, why not this?

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