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June 09, 2008
The Attractive Power of the Asshole
or, Why Do I Dig Tony Stark When In Real Life I'd Probably Want To Kick Him In the Balls?
I have a thing for assholes, apparently. Tony Stark is only the latest instantiation of this. I'm also a fan of Bernard from Black Books, and he's an utter wanker. I adore the titular character of House, and he's an asshole. There are others.
I watch them in action and cheer for them, admire them, gasp approvingly at their audacity. In real life? I'd hate them. They're disrespectful, hateful, bitter people. They treat those around them very badly, often in direct proportion to how important those people are to them.
But, but, but: they're all brilliant. They're all damaged. And, which is probably the best thing, they are equal-opportunity assholes.
I've seen a lot of whinging about Tony being a misogynist asshole, but if you actually pay attention to Iron Man, he's an asshole to everyone. It's not misogyny, it's misanthropy -- and it's rooted in his own issues. As Rhodey puts it, "you don't respect yourself, so I know you don't respect me." Oh, sure, Tony's a jerk. He has loads of every sort of privilege in the world. But calling him a misogynist misses the big picture: he's an egalitarian douchebag. He's so douchey that it transcends the realm of the aggravating and becomes charming again (at least, if you're me).
I think part of the reason I enjoy characters like Tony and Bernard and House is that I admire them. I have a great deal of misanthropy going on in my head (nobody's as bitter as a disappointed optimist, after all, especially one who used to be a substitute teacher), and some days it would be thoroughly enjoyable to give in entirely and just go the full-on-snarktastic-asshole route. I just don't quite have the chutzpah. But they do. So I live vicariously through them and admire them and fangirl over them, and hope that it gets the misanthropy out of my system.
On the bright side, if it doesn't, if it's just cultivating my misanthropy, maybe one of these days I'll break down and become a snarktastic asshole. And then I'll get fangirls of my own, right? So that's not all bad.
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Posted by Ealasaid at June 9, 2008 01:49 PM
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Comments
"It's not misogyny, it's misanthropy"
I think this idea is often missed. Thank you for seeing it.
Posted by: Rich at June 9, 2008 02:54 PM
That is an excellent reason for enjoying the antics of misanthropes: you get to be an asshole vicariously through them. I love it. Good call, dude.
Posted by: Annie at June 9, 2008 08:04 PM
See, I have always liked assholes. Especially when it comes to my men. Assholes are usually honest (painfully so) and rarely say hurtful things just to 'cause pain. They're the ones who aren't afraid to point out the way they perceive the world and usually they do it in an amusing, if exasperating, manner.
It's the nice guys that you have to watch out for. The "nice guys" are the ones that inevitably mess you up.
Posted by: Fester at June 10, 2008 05:16 PM
Glad to see folks I dig agreeing with me. :)
Fester - I gotta say, IRL I only like *some* assholes. The self-centered, narcissistic assholes like Tony Stark make me crazy. They only really give a shit about themselves, and that's not good times when it's directed at me. (One of my favorite things about Tony is that he is still snarktastic and kind of an ass after being in captivity, but he stops being quite so damn self-centered.)
Posted by: Ealasaid at June 11, 2008 02:38 PM
I had a boyfriend once who some people thought was a complete asshole. He's been on my mind constantly ever since I found out that he died. In some ways he really was an asshole. He could be mean and greedy and self-centered, but when he and I were alone, he was authentic and loving. He had major stuggles with his concept of himself. There was something about "Arrogant Asshole Pete" that he felt he had to hang on to at all costs. I still wish I'd known what was going on with him these last few years.
Posted by: Becca at June 13, 2008 09:15 AM
Graphics from works 