This is a repository for the miscellaneous mentions of and appearances by His Lordship in the Books and related paraphernalia.
Scroll down, or jump straight to:
|First||His Lordship's Address to the City Watch (The 1999 Discworld Diary)|
|Second||His Lordship's Mention in the Discworld Diary 2000|
Officers of Ankh-Morpork:Back to the Top
In the last few years, the Ankh-Morpork City Watch has grown from an undervalued and under-used organization to the efficient and skilled force of police officers that we now, much to our amazement, see before us.
The Watch has expanded from a handful of humans into a force to be reckoned with, which now truly reflects the diversity of species and other options which inhabit this great city of ours. Thanks to their sterling efforts, the City Watch is now very nearly respected by our less law-abiding residents and even by hypothetically honest citizens, a species not quite so well represented within these ancient walls.
I have always felt that this city of ours works like an intricate clockwork motor. The city's police officers are like the teeth on one of the motor's tiny cogwheels, although of course not so greasy or small; without them, the motor could not function.
Like all teeth, the Watch can bite, and we have seen the solving of some major crimes in the last few years. The theft of a book from UU's Library, the organized syndicate of malicious spitting, the mystery of the Opera Ghost and a particularly illuminating plot against my own life are four that spring immediately to mind. These crimes, committed without Guild approval, could not have been solved without the tenacity, attention to detail and innate sense of truth and justice embodied in your Commander, His Grace the Duke of Ankh, and of your Catain, Carrot Ironfoundersson. And, of course, not without a pinch of luck and some bloody-mindedness, because without their contribution to the great party that is life those other virtues would sometimes find themselves in the kitchen with the empty bottles and the bowls with the crisps no one likes. Even the traffic now flows more efficiently through our city since the establishment of the Traffic Control Division under Sergeant Frederick Colon and Corporal Cecil Nobbs (known to the city's carters, affectionately I presume, as "The Sleeping Policemen"). Nothing seems to be beyond the officers of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, a fact that I sometimes recall even in the middle of the night. Wherever there is trouble, you will find the Watch, and, it seems, the other way round as well.
I wish you all a successful year ahead, looking out for unlicensed theft, unauthorized assassination and illegally exploded dragons. If I may slip into the vernacular for a moment - keep 'em peeled. I have to say I'm not certain what it is that you have to keep peeled, but I am sure this will be explained as part of your training and, if you do not have any to peel, doubtless some will be provided.
OPEN COMMISSION: Havelock, Lord Vetinari (AM$1m). Lord Vetinari is himself a graduate of the Guild and as such is a formidable opponent. Whilst he is known to view assassination attempts as a normal part of his life as a politician, and whilst he fully understands that the Guild's members are obliged to take on such commissions, he nevertheless takes a firm view that a dog only gets one bite. Most of the Assassins who have tried to earn the AM$1,000,000 fee have never been heard of since.
Back to the Top