Author Archives: Ealasaid

About Ealasaid

Ealasaid is a technical writer, freelance movie reviewer, bookbinder, and geek-of-many-trades based in Portland, OR.

Get Out

Get Out

Written and Directed by: Jordan Peele Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener, Marcus Henderson, Betty Gabriel, Lil Rel Howery Rated: R for violence, bloody images, and language including sexual references Jordan Peele is probably best known for being half of the comedy duo “Key and Peele.” When previews for “Get Out” started appearing, the prominent inclusion of his name as writer-director combined with the not-campy clips made some folks wonder if it was a satire, or maybe something in the vein of “Shaun of the Dead.” It’s neither. It’s a straight-up horror/thriller movie that has a central thread of social commentary in it. It’s also really, really good. The film opens with a Black man walking in a neighborhood at night. A car passes him, then turns around and rolls up slowly beside him. We know how that story usually ends, and by evoking that cultural knowledge, “Get Out” reminds us how

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The Great Wall

The Great Wall

Directed by: Yimou Zhang Starring: Matt Damon, Tian Jing, Pedro Pascal, Hanyu Zhang, Andy Lau, Willem Dafoe, Lu Han Rated: PG-13 for sequences of fantasy action violence “The Great Wall” is a strange film. There’s a lot to enjoy: stunning visuals, acrobatic combat, impressive special effects, and an exciting story. There’s also a lot that gets dropped in service to the impression the film wants to give: any resemblance to historical accuracy, realistic physiology, or even a ghost of caring about making sense. If you want to turn your brain off and watch awesome battle sequences, “The Great Wall” will not let you down. If you like movies that respect your intelligence and don’t have massive plot holes, stay far, far away. Our protagonist William (Matt Damon) and a small band of mercenaries are trying to find a source of gunpowder they can take home and sell to make themselves comically rich for the rest

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John Wick: Chapter 2

John Wick: Chapter 2

Directed by: Chad Stahelski Starring: Keanu Reeves, Common, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ian McShane, Ruby Rose Rated: R for strong violence throughout, some language and brief nudity. “John Wick Chapter 2” is a solid sequel – if you liked the first film, you should definitely see the second. If, on the other hand, you disliked the first film, chances are very good you should stay away. The dog in this film is not brutally murdered as a plot device, which definitely helps if, like this reviewer, you are an animal-lover and strongly put off by that kind of thing. It shifts the overall tone of the film enormously. That’s pretty much the only difference between the two, though. The story starts in the middle of Wick finishing up the revenge spree from the first film – there’s no interlude of emotional storytelling. The plot is still basically John Wick (Keanu Reeves) vs. the underworld of assassins and

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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Written and Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson Starring: Milla Jovovich, Iain Glen, Ali Larter, Shawn Roberts, Eoin Macken Rated: Rated R for sequences of violence throughout The latest installment in the popular “Resident Evil” franchise of films is out. As a collection of increasingly spectacular battles between humans and zombies, it’s right up there with the rest of the collection. It also tries to put a new spin on the events of every single previous “Resident Evil” film with several big revelations. How successful that is for you will depend on how demanding you are about the plot consistency, continuity, and coherency of this series of zombie movies. Like all the films in the series, “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter” revolves around Alice (Milla Jovovich). It opens with a monologue from her to bring any new viewers up to speed, then dives pretty much straight into action. If you like watching pale and pretty women

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xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

Directed by: D.J. Caruso Starring: Vin Diesel, Toni Collette, Deepika Padukone, Donnie Yen, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Kris Wu, Rory McCann, Samuel L. Jackson Rated: PG-13 for extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material and language As we saw Samuel L. Jackson say in the trailer for “xXx: The Return of Xander Cage,” the entire point of this film is for our heroes to “Kick some butt, get the girl, and try to look dope while you do it.” The women don’t need saving (and do a lot of dope-looking butt-kicking themselves), but otherwise? It nails it. This is not a film about character, serious ideas, or story. This is a big, dumb action movie. It’s a solid entry in the class to which it aspires, so if that’s what you like, you’re probably going to enjoy it. Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) faked his death, but NSA goon Marsh (Toni Collette)

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Underworld: Blood Wars

Underworld: Blood Wars

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Tobias Menzies, Lara Pulver, Charles Dance, James Faulkner Directed by: Anna Foerster Rated: R for strong bloody violence, and some sexuality “Underworld: Blood Wars” is the fifth installment in this fan-beloved and critic-despised franchise. If you haven’t seen the others, don’t worry – what little information you need to enjoy the film is recapped in an opening narration and occasional flashbacks. This is not a subtle series, but “Blood Wars” tries its best to have a complex and interesting story. What matters to most of us, though, is whether it’s awesome or not – and rest assured, it is exactly as awesome as the rest of the series. Elite vampire warrior Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is back in her immaculate black latex and flowing coat, but rather than pursuing vengeance, she just wants to be left alone. The previous films have left her bereft of everyone she cares about, and she

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Assassin’s Creed

Directed by: Justin Kurzel Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Ariani Labed Rated: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, thematic elements and brief strong language It’s generally best to keep one’s expectations low when it comes to movies based on video games, and “Assassin’s Creed” is no exception. If all you want is cool fights, exciting chase sequences with lots of parkour-style stunts, and Michael Fassbender showing off his time in the gym, you’ll almost certainly enjoy it. If, on the other hand, you are hoping for an enlargement of the universe of the games or even just a movie that holds together well, stay away. Like the games, “Assassin’s Creed” focuses on a modern-day descendant of the ancient order of Assassins. Cal (Fassbender) falls into the hands of the Templars, ancient enemies of the Assassins, who plan to use a machine called the Animus to force our hero to relive

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Passengers

Passengers

Directed by: Morten Tyldum Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt, Michael Sheen Rated: PG-13 for sexuality, nudity and action/peril There are common tropes in movies that drive some viewers up a wall but don’t bother others in the slightest. Modern romantic comedies are stuffed with them, and don’t let its scifi premise fool you: “Passengers” is in the same general genre. If you don’t mind obsessive, unhealthy relationships and women who reward bad behavior in heroes, you’ll probably like it. If, on the other hand, love being used as an excuse for female characters abandoning their own lives and ambitions aggravates you, stay far away. The setup for the film is pretty straightforward: the starship Avalon is on its 120-year trip from Earth to the colony planet Homestead II. Its 5000 passengers and 200-odd crew are in stasis, set to wake up a few months before the ship arrives at their new home. After something goes

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Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Directed by: Edward Zwick Starring: Tom Cruise, Cobie Smulders, Danika Yarosh, Aldis Hodge, Patrick Heusinger, Holt McCallany Rated: PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, some bloody images, language and thematic elements Tom Cruise has produced a new Jack Reacher film, “Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.” This is a sequel to the mostly-overlooked film he produced in 2012, “Jack Reacher.” Both are based on the books by Lee Child, but book fans will probably find a lot to irritate them here. This is a decent action movie, with good fight choreography and a subversive feminist streak (especially as compared with the book). The plot revolves around Major Turner (Cobie Smulders, familiar to MCU fans for her work as Agent Maria Hill), a military police officer who uncovers corruption involving a government contracting company and winds up with a target on her back. She and Reacher are not-quite-friends, but he cares enough about her that when

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Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Directed by: Tim Burton Starring: Eva Green, Asa Butterfield, Samuel L. Jackson, Judi Dench, Allison Janney, Rupert Everett, Chris O’Dowd, Terrence Stamp Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of fantasy action/violence and peril Tim Burton’s newest film (Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children) features neither Johnny Depp nor Helena Bonham Carter, and doesn’t even have Danny Elfman doing music. His normal level of kookiness is also somewhat absent. To top things off, he stuck his foot in his mouth during a recent interview and said some pretty racist stuff. Folks trying to decide whether to see “Miss Peregrine’s” will need to weigh not only considerations of book adaptation and tone, but also whether his remarks affect their comfort with paying to see his film. All of this aside, the film is pretty good. The book it’s based on is very popular, and fans of the book will need to be okay with major changes between page

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