A-C

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
------- Edward Abbey
humor, pets, all

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."
-------Diane Ackerman
inspiration, all

All Men would be tyrants if they could ... That your Sex are Naturally Tyrannical is a Truth so thoroughly established as to admit of no dispute.
-------Abigail Adams (in a letter to John Adams)
battle of the sexes, all

"Words used carelessly, if they do not matter in any serious way, often allow otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through."
------- Douglas Adams
proverb, all

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
------- Douglas Adams
humor, science, life, all

Henry James chews more than he bites off.
blank--Mrs. Henry Adams
insult, literature, writing, all

As you know, people were very wise in the 1700s. Unfortunately, something happened that made us all idiots.
------- Scott Adams
humor, wit, insult, all

"Act so as to elicit the best in others and thereby in thyself."
-------Felix Adler

"You only find complete unanimity in a cemetery."
-------Abel Aganbegyan

Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread.
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.
blank--Conrad Aiken
love, poetry, sadness, death, mourning, all

"The less of routine, the more of life."
-------A. B. Alcott
proverb, all

"Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."
-------Louisa May Alcott

Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad; babies never are.
blank--Louisa May Alcott (childhood diary)
proverb, all

"Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong."
-------Muhammad Ali

When people would ask, "for whom has love so undone you?" I, smiling, would look at them and say nothing.
blank--Dante Aligheri
, all

" Change means movement, movement means friction, friction means heat, and heat means controversy."
-------Saul Alinsky
humor, proverb, all

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
-------Fred Allen
humor, definition, proverb, all

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
-------Fred Allen
humor, proverb, all

"If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny."
-------Woody Allen
humor, proverb, all

I've always felt that a person's intellegence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting points of view he can entertain simultaneously on the same topic.
-------Lisa Alther
wit, humor, proverb, all

It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start life as children.
-------Kingsley Amis
humor, all

If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.
blank--Kingsley Amis
proverb, humor, all

"Entrepreneurs average 3.8 failures before final success. What sets the successful ones apart is their amazing persistence."
-------Lisa M. Amos
proverb, all

There's a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth.
-------Maya Angelou
proverb, all

Revolutionaries do not make revolutions. The revolutionaries are those who know when power is lying in the street and then they can pick it up.
-------Hannah Arendt
proverb, all

Poets are the only people to whom love is not only a crucial, but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake it for a universal one.blank--Hannah Arendt
proverb, humor, all

Listening is not the same as talking.
-------Isaac Asimov
proverb, all

Thin people are thin because they don't know any better.
-------Isaac Asimov
humor, diet, weight, all

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!), but "that's funny..."
blank--Isaac Asimov
proverb, humor, all

Don't think it hasn't been charming, because it hasn't.
-------Margot Asquith (to the hostess, upon leaving a party)
insult, humor, all

Klee's pictures seem to me to resemble, not pictures, but a sample book of patterns for linoleum.
-------Sir Cyril Asquith
humor, insult, all

The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to him; there ought to be as many for love.
blank--Atwood

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."
-------Francis Bacon
proverb, all

Once the grammar has been learned [writing] is simply talking on paper and in time learning what not to say.
blank--Beryl Bainbridge
proverb, humor, all

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
blank--Russell Baker
humor, proverb, men, all

The only thing I regret about my life is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I'd make all the same mistakes -- only sooner.
-------Tallulah Bankhead
humor, inspiration, all

To love without criticism is to be betrayed.
blank--Djuna Barnes
proverb, all

"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad."
------- Dave Barry

If it is your time love will track you down like a cruise missile. If you say, "No! I don't want it right now," that's when you'll get it for sure. Love will make a way out of now way. Love is an exploding cigar which we willingly smoke.
blank--Lynda Barry
proverb, humor, all

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance."
-------Bruce Barton
proverb, all

"Never answer a critic, unless he's right."
-------Bernard Baruch
proverb, humor, all

"No task is a long one but the task on which one dare not start. It becomes a nightmare."
-------Baudeliare
proverb, inspiration, all

You put a character out there and you're in their power. You're in trouble if they're in yours.
-------Ann Beattie
writing, proverb, all

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-------Caron de Beaumarchais
proverb, humor, all

"Failure is usually the line of least persistence."
-------Wilfred Beaver

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
------- Robert Benchley
humor, pets, all

"Cynical" is a term invented by optimists to describe realists.
-------Gregory Benford
humor, proverb, all

Never marry a man who hates his mother because he'll end up hating you.
blank--Jill Bennett
marriage, proverb, love, all

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
-------Bernard Berenson
education, humor, proverb, all

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
-------Ingrid Bergman

Capital, n. The seat of misgovernment.
-------Ambrose Bierce
humor, politics, all

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
-------Ambrose Bierce
humor, proverb, all

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
------- Smiley Blanton
pets, dogs, humor, proverb, all

It's better to be a live coward than a dead coward.
-------Robert Bloch
proverb, humor, military, cowardice, all

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-------Erma Bombeck
proverb, humor, all

"Circumstances - what are circumstances? I make circumstances."
-------Napoleon Bonaparte
military, war, inspiration, all

"The greatest general is he who makes the fewest mistakes."
-------Napoleon Bonaparte
military, proverb, all

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis."
-------Margaret Bonnano
happiness, proverb, all

Guidelines for Bureaucrats:
1. When in charge, ponder.
2. When in trouble, delegate.
3. When in doubt, mumble.
-------James H. Boren
rules, humor, proverb, all

"The method of the enterprising is to plan with audacity and execute with vigor."
-------Christian Bovee
proverb, inspiration, all

"Tell me what you eat: I will tell you what you are."
-------Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-------Ashleigh Brilliant
humor, proverb, all

I was educated once, and it took me years to get over it.
-------Ashleigh Brilliant
humor, education, all

"Don't take anyone else's definition of success as your own. (This is easier said than done.)"
-------Jacqueline Briskin
inspiration, proverb, all

I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist on believing that some men are my equals.
blank--Brigid Brophy
humor, battle of the sexes, women, all

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.
-------Rita Mae Brown
humor, battle of the sexes, all

Whoso loves
Believes the impossible.
blank--Elizabeth Barret Browning
love, proverb, all

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
------- Dereke Bruce
proverb, humor, pets, all

Saying that the deterrent prevents nuclear war because we haven't had one yet is like saying that my leg is unbreakable because I've never broken it.
-------John Brunner
humor, proverb, military, all

Everything is normal. It's just that some normal things are weirder than other normal things.
-------Steven Brust (in Teckla)
proverb, humor, all

No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulderblades will seriously cramp his style.
-------Steven Brust (in Athyra)
humor, proverb, all

"Never in this world can hatred be stilled by hatred; it will be stilled only by non-hatred-this is the law Eternal."
-------Buddha
, all

The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible - and achieve it, generation after generation.
-------Pearl S. Buck, The Goddess Abides
inspiration, proverb, all

Women who miscalculate are called "mothers."
-------Abigaile Van Buren

"He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper."
-------Edmund Burke
proverb, conflict, all

"What a lovely surprise to discover how un-lonely being alone can be."
-------Ellen Burstyn
solitude, all

"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."
-------Herb Caen
religion, humor, all

My career is a fascist state. I'm the dictator, the chief of police, the head of the army. Anybody who tries to interfere is put up against the wall and shot.
-------Michael Caine
acting, humor, all

Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-------John Cage
humor, all

It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses.
blank--Mrs. Patrick Campbell
humor, sex, all

Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it.
blank--Truman Capote
writing, humor, all

"Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy."
-------Dale Carnegie
happiness, proverb, all

Aphrodisiacs come in strange forms.
blank--Terry Carr
proverb, humor, all

A person who speaks cleverly is witty; one who asks questions is smart.
-------Terry Carr
humor, proverb, all

I suspect that many an ailurophobe hates cats only because he feels they are better than he is -- more honest, more secure, more loved, more whatever he is not.
-------Winifred Carriere
pets, humor, all

Old men are like that, you know. It makes them feel important to think they're in love with somebody.
blank--Willa Cather
humor, all

When in doubt, have two guys come through the doors with guns.
blank--Raymond Chandler
writing, proverb, all

The character that lasts is an ordinary guy with some extraordinary qualities.
-------Ramond Chandler
writing, proverb, all

Great loves too must be endured.
blank--Coco Chanel
love, proverb, all

"Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable."
-------Coco Chanel
proverb, inspiration, all

The only advice I have to give a young novelist is to fuck a really good agent.
-------John Cheever
humor, writing, all

The idea of authors running around helplessly behind their cretinous inventions is contemptible.
-------John Cheever
writing, all

"Sometimes when I'm tired or feeling like 'Oh, God, I just can't make it,' I think, I bet [Tina Turner] could do this. She's like a hurricane - a force of nature."
-------Cher
music, inspiration, all

"Advice is seldom welcome; those who want it the most always like it the least."
-------Earl of Chesterfield
humor, prover, all

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes.
blank--Agatha Christie
writing, proverb, all

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
blank--Agatha Christie
humor, men, love, marriage, all

"The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves that they don't give a damn."
-------Agatha Christie
humor, proverb, all

"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things."
-------Winston Churchill
proverb, inspiration, all

"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
-------Winston Churchill
inspiration, proverb, all

You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
blank--John Ciardi
humor, proverb, writing, all

"No one is more likely to make a mistake than the man who acts only on reflection."
-------Luc de Clapiers, Marquis Vauvenargues
humor, proverb, all

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't."
-------Frank A. Clark
proverb, all

"Statistics are no substitute for judgement."
-------Henry Clay
proverb, all

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
-------John Cleese
humor, insult, acting, all

What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
-------Colette
inspiration, humor, all

A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.
-------Colette
humor, proverb, all

"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner."
-------Colette

"Be happy. It's one way of being wise."
-------Colette
proverb, all

"To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent."
-------Robert Copeland
humor, proverb, business, all

"Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality."
-------Alan Coren

No man is a hero to his valet.
-------Madame Corneul
proverb, humor, all

"If the shoe fits, you're not allowing for growth."
-------Robert N. Coons
proverb, humor, all

"Hope is the most treacherous of human fancies."
-------James Fenimore Cooper
proverb, all

"To conquer without risk is to triumph without glory."
-------Pierre Corneille
proverb, inspiration, all

It is often wise to ignore scholars.
-------Bernard Cornwell
proverb, education, humor, all

"The essence of man is imperfection."
-------Norman Cousins
proverb, all

"Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do."
-------Bruce Crampton

A young Apollo, golden-haired,
Stands dreaming on the verge of strife,
Magnificently unprepared
For the long littleness of life.
-------Frances Crofts Cornford
youth, humor, all

Parenthood; that state of being better chaperoned than you were before marraige.
-------Marcelene Cox
humor, all

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
------- e.e. cummings
humor, money, all