Directed by: Katja von Garnier
Starring: Agnes Bruckner, Hugh Dancy, Olivier Martinez
Rated: PG-13 for violence/terror, some sexuality and substance abuse.
Parental Notes: This is a fair PG-13 movie. The substance abuse consists of drinking absinthe. The violence is not overly graphic (you can tell what is happening, but it's not gratuitous).
I wanted to like "Blood and Chocolate," I really did. It had a number of things in its favor: cheesy werewolf story, beautiful location shoots, attractive principals, and so on. But I just couldn't. I tried, honestly, but the passive heroine, bad acting, and utter lack of camp made it impossible. It isn't a good action movie, and it isn't a good horror movie; it isn't even an enjoyably terrible movie. It's just not good.
The story is a fairly straightforward coming-of-age tale, loosely based on the young adult novel by Annette Curtis Klause. Nineteen-year-old Vivian (Agnes Bruckner, "Dreamland") is a werewolf. Her parents were killed by hunters when she was little, and she has since moved to Bucharest, where she lives with distant relatives as part of a pack of werewolves led by Gabriel (Olivier Martinez, "Taking Lives"). Every seven years, Gabriel takes a new wife, and word has it that he's thinking of Vivian for his next choice in spite of her unwillingness and the difference in their ages. She's even less enthusiastic about the idea when she meets Aidan (Hugh Dancy, "Elizabeth I"), an artist. They fall in love and she has to figure out which to choose: life with the human Aidan or life with her pack at Gabriel's side. Things are complicated by the fact that she is apparently destined to be the leader of her people, ushering in a "new age of hope."
All this would be fine and good if either Bruckner offered a decent performance or the part were written well. As written, Vivian is an utterly passive character. She only makes decisions when pushed to by Gabriel or Aidan, and generally sides with whoever is in front of her at the time. On the rare occasions when she actually makes her mind up for herself, she does so at the very last possible minute. A solid actress could pull this off, but Bruckner (or possibly director Katja von Garnier) seems to think that standing around with no expression on her face counts as acting. Her rare moments of expressiveness are limited to laughing during a montage and looking ill with the assistance of some skillfully-applied makeup. It is hard to empathize with a character who doesn't show much emotion through either expression or action.
The rest of the film is packed with equally mediocre talent and badly-written characters. The one aspect of the film I greatly enjoyed was the beautiful transformations the werewolves go through. Humans leap into the air in graceful arcs, are surrounded in luminescent rainbow-tinted fog, and land as wolves, trailing streaks of color. It's quite lovely, and a pleasant change from the bone-cracking and hair-sprouting of so many other werewolf movies. If only that were enough to make up for the rest of the film's deficits.
When a horror movie is not good, sometimes being campy and over-the-top can save it. Sadly, "Blood and Chocolate" lacks even a whiff of camp, and with a heroine who shows almost no emotion, you can't have much over-the-top. If you're so desperate for a werewolf movie on the big screen that you don't much care about quality, "Blood and Chocolate" will satisfy -- the werewolf aspect of the story is pretty spiffy. But if you like your shape changers with character and want to be entertained, go elsewhere.
Written and Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Starring: Ivana Baquero, Ariadna Gil, Sergi López, Maribel Verdú
Rated: R for graphic violence and some language.
Parental Notes: This is not a kid's movie. The casual, graphic violence will be too extreme for youngsters, and the philosophical content will likely bore them.
The Spanish Civil War was a brutal struggle between the forces of fascism, led by Franco, and the loyalists of the old Spanish republic. The loyalists lost. "Pan's Labyrinth" is set shortly after that defeat, during the mopping-up of the remaining loyalist troops. This was a dark time for Spain, and the film reflects that, both in the real-life story surrounding our heroine and in the fantastical one she imagines for herself. This dark fantasy is very reminiscent of the original Grimm fairy tales: full of violence, fright, love, innocence, and with a lesson at its core.
As the film opens, young Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) is traveling with her very pregnant mother, Carmen (Ariadna Gil). They are headed for the outpost Carmen's new husband, Capitan Vidal (Sergi López) commands. Capitan Vidal has been charged with wiping out the remaining loyalist guerrilla forces in the forest near an old mill, and he is eagerly working to do so. He has sent for Carmen and Ofelia because, as he puts it, he wants his son to be born in the new, clean Spain he is building. He has no doubts that he child will be a son.
Ofelia discovers that there is an old, crumbling labyrinth in the forest near the mill and soon is shaping fantasies blending what she has read in her many fairy tale books with the reality around her. She meets a faun in the labyrinth and is told that she bears the soul of an underworld princess. If she can complete three tasks by the full moon, the faun says, she will be able to return to the underworld and live with her father, the king, forever.
The film alternates between cruel, violent reality, where fascists and guerrillas battle and people are killed almost without thought, and the beautiful, strange fantasy Ofelia often inhabits. Both are shot with beautiful camera work. Each scene has its own color palette to suit its events, and the steadicam shots pull the audience into the action effortlessly.
The actors give top-notch performances, although for an American audience they have the added advantage of working behind subtitles -- somehow nearly anything seems more interesting and serious if it is said in another language. Even so, the performances ring true.
Baquero is spot-on as Ofelia. Ofelia is brave and kindhearted, but she is also very young and naive. Baquero brings out these qualities and never for a moment seems to be acting. She simply inhabits the role. The two women who affect Ofelia the most, her mother Carmen and the servant Mercedes (Maribel Verdú), are spot-on as well. Gil gracefully walks a difficult tightrope as a woman who undeniably adores her daughter but has brought them both to live with a very dangerous man. Verdú makes Mercedes believable as both a servant and as an undercover member of the guerrillas
The centerpiece performance, in some ways, is López is as the Capitan. Vidal is a true fascist -- he follows orders without question, expects to be obeyed without question, and those who do not conform to his world view are dealt with very harshly. Those who remember López from his titular role the French film "A Friend Like Harry" will not be surprised that he makes the Capitan believable as someone who sees himself as noble while doing horrifying things. He is a villain straight out of a fairy tale -- and yet, there are hints of humanity in him which make him all too human.
"Pan's Labyrinth" has been advertised as a fantasy and a fairy tale, but it is no children's movie. It shows the cruelty of the fascist soldiers and the desperation of the guerrilla fighters with enough realism to make even this hardened reviewer blanch. There is gore aplenty, as well as the casual death-dealing that only a villain like Vidal can offer. It isn't a slash fest, though; there is a quiet thread of philosophizing about obedience and authority, as well as an examination of the role fairy tales play in human lives.
Ultimately, "Pan's Labyrinth" is a movie for grownups who love fairy tales but do not have illusions about them. If you like the original Grimm tales, you will probably adore "Pan's Labyrinth." If Disney takes on the Grimm originals are more your speed, you should see something else.
Pan's Labyrinth
Ealasaid A. Haas
Written and Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Starring: Ivana Baquero, Ariadna Gil, Sergi López, Maribel Verdú
Rated: R for graphic violence and some language.
Parental Notes: This is not a kid's movie. The casual, graphic violence will be too extreme for youngsters, and the philosophical content will likely bore them.
The Spanish Civil War was a brutal struggle between the forces of fascism, led by Franco, and the loyalists of the old Spanish republic. The loyalists lost. "Pan's Labyrinth" is set shortly after that defeat, during the mopping-up of the remaining loyalist troops. This was a dark time for Spain, and the film reflects that, both in the real-life story surrounding our heroine and in the fantastical one she imagines for herself. This dark fantasy is very reminiscent of the original Grimm fairy tales: full of violence, fright, love, innocence, and with a lesson at its core.
As the film opens, young Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) is traveling with her very pregnant mother, Carmen (Ariadna Gil). They are headed for the outpost Carmen's new husband, Capitan Vidal (Sergi López) commands. Capitan Vidal has been charged with wiping out the remaining loyalist guerrilla forces in the forest near an old mill, and he is eagerly working to do so. He has sent for Carmen and Ofelia because, as he puts it, he wants his son to be born in the new, clean Spain he is building. He has no doubts that he child will be a son.
Ofelia discovers that there is an old, crumbling labyrinth in the forest near the mill and soon is shaping fantasies blending what she has read in her many fairy tale books with the reality around her. She meets a faun in the labyrinth and is told that she bears the soul of an underworld princess. If she can complete three tasks by the full moon, the faun says, she will be able to return to the underworld and live with her father, the king, forever.
The film alternates between cruel, violent reality, where fascists and guerrillas battle and people are killed almost without thought, and the beautiful, strange fantasy Ofelia often inhabits. Both are shot with beautiful camera work. Each scene has its own color palette to suit its events, and the steadicam shots pull the audience into the action effortlessly.
The actors give top-notch performances, although for an American audience they have the added advantage of working behind subtitles -- somehow nearly anything seems more interesting and serious if it is said in another language. Even so, the performances ring true.
Baquero is spot-on as Ofelia. Ofelia is brave and kindhearted, but she is also very young and naive. Baquero brings out these qualities and never for a moment seems to be acting. She simply inhabits the role. The two women who affect Ofelia the most, her mother Carmen and the servant Mercedes (Maribel Verdú), are spot-on as well. Gil gracefully walks a difficult tightrope as a woman who undeniably adores her daughter but has brought them both to live with a very dangerous man. Verdú makes Mercedes believable as both a servant and as an undercover member of the guerrillas
The centerpiece performance, in some ways, is López is as the Capitan. Vidal is a true fascist -- he follows orders without question, expects to be obeyed without question, and those who do not conform to his world view are dealt with very harshly. Those who remember López from his titular role the French film "A Friend Like Harry" will not be surprised that he makes the Capitan believable as someone who sees himself as noble while doing horrifying things. He is a villain straight out of a fairy tale -- and yet, there are hints of humanity in him which make him all too human.
"Pan's Labyrinth" has been advertised as a fantasy and a fairy tale, but it is no children's movie. It shows the cruelty of the fascist soldiers and the desperation of the guerrilla fighters with enough realism to make even this hardened reviewer blanch. There is gore aplenty, as well as the casual death-dealing that only a villain like Vidal can offer. It isn't a slash fest, though; there is a quiet thread of philosophizing about obedience and authority, as well as an examination of the role fairy tales play in human lives.
Ultimately, "Pan's Labyrinth" is a movie for grownups who love fairy tales but do not have illusions about them. If you like the original Grimm tales, you will probably adore "Pan's Labyrinth." If Disney takes on the Grimm originals are more your speed, you should see something else.
Directed by: Luc Besson
Starring: Freddie Highmore, Madonna, Jimmy Fallon, Mia Farrow
Rated: PG
Parental Notes: This is a fairly innocuous kids movie. It has some flaws and very little character development, but should be entertaining for kids who just want to see a new fantasy Adults may want to skip it.
There is a certain charm to kids' movies, the ones that don't bother pandering to adults. They require at least as little mental effort as a standard action movie, but are a lot more relaxing. They aren't as clever or entertaining as, say, "Shrek," but they're fun in the way that blowing the seeds off a dandelion is fun -- for very little effort you get to watch a variation on something you've seen plenty of times before. Just don't think about it too hard or you'll realize that dandelion seeds turn into more weeds.
"Arthur and the Invisibles" is based on the children's book "Arthur et les Minimoys," by Luc Besson. Besson is a director, writer, and producer, so it's no surprise that he has turned his book into a film. The story is very straightforward: ten-year-old Arthur (Freddie Highmore) has two days to find a treasure hidden by his grandfather in the tiny kingdom of the faerie-like Minimoys. If he fails, his grandmother's farm, where he lives, will be repossessed by the bank.
The world of the Minimoys, which can only be entered every tenth full moon, is created in amazing detail with computer graphics. It is a testament to how far this art has come that the CGI portion of the film does not jar with the real-life portion of the film. The Minimoys, who are "no bigger than a tooth," welcome Arthur and he winds up with Princess Selenia (voiced by Madonna) and Prince Betameche (voiced by Jimmy Fallon) as companions as he travels to the stronghold of the evil Maltazard (voiced by David Bowie) to try and reclaim his grandfather's treasure.
Arthur and his companions face a wide variety of challenges as they traverse the world of the Minimoys -- which is actually Arthur's back yard, seen from a new perspective now that he's tiny. They ride mosquitoes, are launched through the air in a capsule made from a walnut, and escape a flood by driving Arthur's tiny windup car. The various characters are entertaining, their larger-than-life attributes amusing and likely to generate smiles from kids in the audience.
Arthur is a typical children's story hero: young, courageous, a bit strong-headed, and determined to save the day at all costs. Young Highmore does a top-notch job in his live-action scenes, and is a competent voice over artist for the scenes in the world of the Minimoys.
Princess Selenia is something of an enigma; at different times during the film we're told she's nearly an adult and that she's the same age as Arthur. She has the body of a teenager, the attitude of a ten-year-old, and the voice of forty-something star Madonna. All these incongruities are irrelevant to the story: Selenia, like her brother Betameche, is essentially there as part of the scenery to help Arthur complete his mission.
The folks in the live-action portion of the film are likewise undeveloped. Arthur's parents are far away in the city looking for work. His grandmother (the wonderful Mia Farrow) is loving and at times a bit cranky, but that is all we know about her. For those accustomed to looking for something approaching character development, this gets annoying fairly quickly.
Overall, however, "Arthur and the Invisibles" is a charming, lightweight film that will likely amuse children and those willing to turn off their analytical minds for a couple of hours. If nothing else, it should help pass the time until the next "Shrek" comes out.
What, you may ask, is a wholphin? It is the offspring of a pairing between a bottlenose dolphin and a false killer whale. It is also the name of a new magazine from the publishers of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern. Presented on DVD, "Wholphin" features films designed to make you feel, as the publishers put it, they way they felt "when we learned that dolphins and whales sometimes, you know, do it." The quarterly issues present everything from documentaries to animation, and both touching pieces and laugh-out-loud comedy.
For example, the first issue contains an untitled documentary on Al Gore made by Spike Jonez ("Being John Malkovich") during the former vice president's presidential campaign. Contrary to Gore's often rather stiff and stuffy appearance in the media, the documentary shows him as a very human man with a sense of humor and a lot of connection with his family. One can't help wondering whether, if the documentary had been shown during that campaign, if it would have made a difference in the very close election which followed.
Issue one also contains "Tatli Hayat" ("The Sweet Life"), a half-hour Turkish sitcom. The liner notes explain that it was sent to them without any subtitles or return address, and they couldn't get anybody to translate it, so they sent it out to several entertainment people and had them make up their own subtitles. The result is an utterly hilarious, surreal comedy which can be watched over and over -- the same scenes tell a different story with each set of subtitles.
The second issue includes such gems as the Japanese version of "I Dream of Genie" rescripted by several luminaries including Daniel Handler and an examination of whether the Holocaust Museum is a good location for a first date. The third issue, out now, includes "explosive performance art" by Dennis Hopper, a documentary about a 13-year-old girl in Yemen who refuses to wear the veil, and a short comedy by Bob Odenkirk.
"Wholphin" is available by subscription through their website, www.wholphindvd.com, where you can also order back issues. If you are tired of Hollywood and the same prime time dreck that seems to be on every night, this is a four-times-a-year shot of something entirely new.
Directed by: Shawn Levy
Starring: Ben Stiller, Carla Guigino, Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, Bill Cobbs
Rated: PG for mild action, language and brief rude humor.
Parental Notes: While some very young kids may find the rampaging T-Rex and other displays too frightening, this should be just fine for most kids.
There was a moment during "Night at the Museum" when the rational part of my brain tried briefly to kick in. Two magically animated miniature figures, a cowboy and a Roman centurion, were driving a small remote control dune buggy as part of a chase involving a mystical tablet and a giant living Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton, and my mind informed me that remote control toys like that can't be driven from the inside. It is a tribute to the magic of children's movies that the rest of the scene seemed perfectly believable. "Night at the Museum" certainly has its share of inaccuracies and flaws, but for sheer cinematic magic, it's hard to beat.
The central idea of "Night at the Museum" is that the exhibits at the Natural History Museum in New York come to life at night after all the museum patrons leave. The film's hero is Larry (Ben Stiller), the new night security guard, who is left to discover his job's unusual nature by the three retiring guards (Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, and Bill Cobbs). Once he gets over his shock, he decides his new job "is freakin' awesome!" and sets about doing it to the best of his ability.
The filmmakers wisely spend most of the film's time on Larry's adventures at work, but there are a few subplots thrown in as well. Larry's ex-wife is threatening to challenge his joint custody of their son if Larry can't manage to hold down his job. Larry's son is on the edge of thinking his dad is a loser. The old night watchmen seem to be up to something. Docent Rebbecca provides a love interest for Larry, but he has trouble impressing her. These are all familiar cliches, and they do not provide enough suspense to distract us from the wonderment of the history literally coming alive on screen.
The special effects used to bring the museum to life are spectacular, and deserve a viewing on the big screen. The animated T-Rex skeleton has a surprising amount of personality, as do the animated wax figures of Lewis and Clark, cave men, and Attila the Hun (Patrick Gallagher). A bronze statue of a famous Italian explorer (whose identity is best left to the film to reveal) walks and talks with impressive fluidity and realistic weight.
The real gems of the film are Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams) and the miniature armies from the diorama room. Williams is in fine form, his usual crazy self toned down into a delightful performance as our twenty-sixth president. Two miniature armies from the diorama room are led by the cowboy Jedidiah (Owen Wilson) and centurion Octavius (Steve Coogan). These two men have been itching to fight each other for years, but the old night guards always closed the dioramas off from each other. Wilson and Coogan are phenomenal comedians and do a wonderful job of portraying these two tiny fellows with big personalities.
The real magic of movies like "Night at the Museum" comes from the audience; if you are willing to imagine that something like this could happen, then the movie will likely sweep you up in its enthusiasm. It's hard to complain about plot holes, lack of realism, and a cliched plot when you're busy grinning like a madman at this daydream come to life.