Tag Archives: Mediocrity at its Finest

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

The “Silent Hill” series of video games is enormously popular among a select crowd of fans – their complex mythology and survival-horror genre (meaning combat is less important than finding a way to survive long enough to escape) are very engaging to the right kind of person. The film franchise is notably less celebrated, and seems to aim for “visually impressive b-movie horror flick” rather than “quality horror movie” of any genre. The latest installment, “Silent Hill: Revelation 3D” succeeds when taken on what seems like its own terms. Taken on almost any other measure of film quality, it’s a failure.

Total Recall

Total Recall

Let’s get a few observations out of the way up front: no, there was no reason to remake the classic nineties cheesefest “Total Recall.” Yes, the new film is technically a remake even though the entire setting and big-picture conflict are different. No, the new film isn’t as terrible as I was expecting. Yes, it’s still pretty bad.

Priest

Directed by: Scott Charles Stewart Starring: Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Lily Collins Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, disturbing images and brief strong language.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Directed by: Patrick Tatopoulos Starring: Michael Sheen, Rhona Mitra, Bill Nighy, Steven Mackintosh, Kevin Grevioux Rated: R for bloody violence and some sexuality. Parental Notes: This is not a kids movie. There’s plenty of violence and gore, including graphic scenes of people being beaten with a metal-tipped whip and being cut open with swords.

Twilight

Directed by: Catherine Hardwicke Starring: Robert Pattison, Kristen Stewart, Billy Burke Rated: PG-13 for some violence and a scene of sensuality. Parental Notes: The scene of sensuality is pretty mild, it’s a makeout session cut off by Edward’s fear he is about to lose control and bite Bella. The violence is brief and not graphic or particularly realistic.

Righteous Kill

Directed by: Jon Avnet Starring: Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, 50 Cent, Carla Gugino, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg Rated: R for violence, pervasive language, some sexuality and brief drug use. Parental Notes: This is a pretty solid R rating. Not for youngsters, though teens and mature preteens may be fine.

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan

Directed by: Dennis Dugan Starring: Adam Sandler, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Rob Schneider, John Turturro Rated: PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language and nudity. Parental Notes: There’s little in the way of graphic nudity or violence here, the entire movie is very cartoonish. It is, however, very, very vulgar.

Speed Racer

Directed by: Larry and Andy Wachowski Starring: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon Rated: PG for sequences of action, some violence and language. Parental Notes: This is a movie aimed squarely at kids. The racing scenes may be a bit intense for very young kids, but kids old enough to watch Saturday morning cartoons should be fine.

21

Directed by: Robert Luketic Starring: Jim Sturgess, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, Aaron Yoo, Liza Lapira, Laurence Fishbourne Rated: PG-13 for some violence, and sexual content including partial nudity. Parental Notes: This is a solid PG-13 film. There’s some beating of card sharks by Vegas security goons and a sex scene, but neither is as graphic as you’d find in an R-rated film.