Mr. 3000
Originally written for The Milpitas Post.
Directed by: Charles Stone III
Starring: Bernie Mac, Angela Basset, Michael Rispoli, Brian J. White, Ian Anthony Dale
Rated: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language.
Parental Notes: This is a good movie for teens and preteens, although some parents may find the good-natured swearing and mild sexuality objectionable.
Stan Ross (Bernie Mac) used to be a great ball player. He reached 3000 base hits during his career with the Milwaukee Brewers. Although respected for his skills, he was notoriously unpleasant to the press and worse, unpleasant to his fans. When he nailed his 3000th hit and one of the opposing team members threw the ball into the stands, Ross stalked into the seats and tore the ball out of the hands of the little boy who caught it. Then he retired from baseball, saying he’d gotten his hits and was ready for the Hall of Fame. He left his team in the lurch and opened a bunch of stores with “3000” in the name (3000 Woks, a Chinese restaurant; 3000 beeps, a pager store; and so on) and settled in to enjoy his retirement.
But now, nine years later, he finds out that three of his hits were counted twice due to a clerical error. He’s no longer Mr. 3000, he’s Mr. 2997. He asks the Brewers to take him back for the rest of the season and let him try to get his three remaining hits. Even though he’s 47, out of shape, and probably hopeless as a player, the owners decide to bring him back on board because the highest attendance they had all season was when they brought him to the park to retire his number. For them, it’s a publicity stunt. For Ross, though, it’s another chance to feel the glory.
“Mr. 3000” is a sports movie, so I’m sure that it will come as no surprise that the Brewers are a shambles and their star player is a youngster who’s a lot like Ross was as a kid. Likewise nobody in the audience should be startled that an old flame of Ross’ is still around – she’s an ESPN reporter assigned to cover his story. There are no major surprises in this film, but it succeeds anyway because it rides the standard plot elements like an expert surfer on a familiar beach – everything is smooth, handled with aplomb, and often ironically self-aware. Ross even comments at one point on how corny things get.
Bernie Mac plays Ross with enthusiasm, allowing himself to be humiliated on screen (like when Ross mocks the team’s new conditioning trainer and then can’t do even 10 pushups for him) and playing the scenes where Ross is a complete jerk with the brash narcissism that the role requires. Ross is the kind of guy we like in spite of ourselves, especially when he’s trying to change for the better and not quite making it.
The rest of the characters are essentially stock parts – the young, selfish hitter; the fish-out-of-water Japanese pitcher (who provides some of the film’s most quotable lines when he mixes up his expletives); the stoic and silent manager, who remembers Ross from before and still hates him; and so on and so on.
An exception is Ross’s old flame, who is played wonderfully by an aging and beautiful Angela Bassett. They let her look forty and show how gorgeous she is at the same time, which is rare in a Hollywood movie. Even better, she’s got a bit of punch to her – when Ross keeps trying to get serious, she’s the one who laughs him off, preferring one night stands for old times’ sake to the risk of getting hurt again. She’s not the typical stand-by-her-man, long-suffering girlfriend. She’s built her own life and has to be convinced to let Ross be a real part of it again.
Unfortunately for “Mr. 3000,” baseball movies that aren’t publicized as chick flicks are at a real disadvantage. It’s too bad, because this isn’t a movie that requires much knowledge of the sport beyond what you probably remember from your school days. This is standard fare with a pleasant ending, plenty of laughs, and a nice little moral to boot. It’s sweet without being cloying, funny without resorting to too many cheap shots, and makes a point without belaboring it. It’s a light-hearted sports movie, and if that’s what you’re in the mood for, it will hit the spot quite nicely.