Snicket!

Just got back from seeing Lemony Snicket. Er, I mean, from not seeing Lemony Snicket. Mr. Snicket apparently had an unfortunate event happen to him (he was attacked by an alligator and paralyzed by its venom, according to Mr. Handler). Mr. Daniel Handler appeared in his stead and taught us three moral lessons:

1. Never raise your hand, because it exposes your armpit to marauding alligators.
2. When you see Count Olaf, scream and run away.
3. If you squeeze something hard enough, eventually it will make a noise.

Clearly, these are all useful lessons.
For those of you not familiar with Mr. Snicket, I heartily recommend his series of books, unless you have a sensitive nature and can’t stand tales of orphans in danger, kitchen work, dangerous climbs, and friendly snakes.
I’m very tired. I am going to go to bed now.