So I have my own nation over at NationStates.net, which allows me to simulate running my own private country. Since I decided to run it like I run a middle-school classroom, I made my national animal the seventh grader.
Now, every day I get a couple of issues to decide on. Today’s issue is hilarious.
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Miss Haas’s Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that seventh graders could be added to the menu.
- “The fact is, the seventh grader population is out of control,” says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Faith Mistletoe. “We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have seventh grader kebabs, seventh grader pies, seventh grader-on-a-sticks–the possibilities are endless! Let’s not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy.”
- “I agree that something needs to be done about seventh grader over-population,” says random passer-by Clint Spirit, “but eating them? That’s kind of gross. Let’s just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal.”
- “I am shocked and appalled!” declared SPCA President Hack Mistletoe. “If anyone needs to be culled, it’s us humans. The seventh graders were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry–agriculture in particular–to back off. The seventh grader is part of what makes Miss Haas a great nation!”
Bwah-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaa! So now I must decide which person’s stance (if any) to support. I’m really torn, I honestly am. They’re all… so… funny! I’m leaning toward choice 1, if only because it’s more efficient. I mean, if there really is overcrowding… *chortle* then clearly we should *snicker* do something… *collapses in helpless giggles*