“Hey, Ealasaid, are you gonna see Twilight
I used to answer this with things like, “I’d rather take my eyes out with a spork” but now I’m thinking it might be worth going for the LULZ. The books are so despicably horrifyingly bad that I feel vaguely nauseated by them just from the beta-radiation I’ve gotten (Edward, the “perfect boyfriend” is abusive and dismissive, Bella is a spoiled idiot, etc.). But apparently the guy playing Edward in the movie hates the books. So that could be entertaining.
Anyway. If you have somehow missed the trunkloads of rantings others have done on why these books are so terrible, here’s what I’ve been reading lately:
Misogyny in the books (and really, there’s so much win in the comments to that post, I’m slowly working my way through all of them)
A rant on the beginning of the last book
Hilarious summary of the story, by an ex-Mormon (in case you didn’t know, the author of the books is a devout Mormon, and apparently it kind of shows)
Another summary, with fewer pictures
A Nausea That Borders on Violence: Why Twilight is a Cancerous Sore on the Face of Literature
And, as I tweeted recently: Best description of “Twilight” EVER: “It’s like what I was scribbling in my notebook in the back of math class in 9th grade.”
And finally, this piece of fanart cracked me right up.

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